Intern
€299 once
- Lie detection (basic lies only)
- 1 glitch: The Freeze
- Max 3 zaps per meeting
- Community support (a forum)
Company being incorporated · Ethics board pending
Think before you speak.
Or we'll do it for you.
Voltface is the first AI-powered wearable that listens to your video calls, spots a lie or a dumb remark about 400 ms before you say it, then gives you a gentle electric nudge and briefly breaks your laptop so nobody hears a thing.
Works with Zoom, Teams, Meet, Webex, and that one client who still uses Skype.
INTEGRITY
97%
Trusted by people who have said "per my last email" out loud
- Synergix
- BLAMECORP
- Pivotly
- Q4 Holdings
- Circle Back Inc.
How it works
Three steps between you and an HR meeting.
-
01
It listens
Our proprietary Brainstop™ Language Model streams your microphone, your heart rate, and the slight hesitation you get right before you say "yes, I read the document".
-
02
It zaps
A precisely calibrated micro-impulse (roughly a doorknob in winter) interrupts the thought before it reaches your mouth. Studies1 show it works 94% of the time.
-
03
It glitches
At the same moment, the Glitch Engine™ fakes a believable technical problem on your laptop so the rest of the call hears nothing. You come back seconds later, calm and employable.
The Glitch Engine™
Twelve hand-crafted malfunctions, picked by AI to match your company's IT reputation.
The Freeze
Your video freezes mid-blink. Unflattering enough to be believable.
The Robot
Your voice turns into a 2003 dial-up modem for exactly one sentence.
The Phantom Mute
Everyone sees you talking. No one hears you. Someone says "you're on mute".
The Tunnel
"Sorry, my Wi-Fi is acting up." We act it up for you.
The Surprise Update
Your laptop decides now is a great time to install 1 of 47 updates.
The Cat
An AI-generated cat walks across your keyboard. Enterprise tier only.
Try it yourself
Type what you were about to say in your next stand-up. We'll handle it.
You
Your manager
Client (CEO)
Kevin
Loved by professionals2
"Since I started wearing Voltface, my camera has been frozen for 70% of every meeting. I just got promoted."
"I went to tell my client the project was on track. I woke up on the floor and the client had already left the call. Thank you, Voltface."
"Our whole leadership team wears it. Our quarterly all-hands now lasts 4 minutes."
Pricing
Cheaper than a severance package.
Most zapped
Middle Manager
€29/month
- Lies, dumb remarks, and "quick questions"
- All 12 glitches
- Unlimited zaps
- Weekly Integrity Report™ sent to your boss
C-Suite
Let's talk
- Detects forward-looking statements
- Glitches the whole company's Wi-Fi
- Investor call mode (zap only, never glitch)
- Dedicated paramedic
The science
Built on 40 years of neuroscience and 200 years of phrenology.
- Head start on your mouth 400 ms Before you know you're about to speak
- Shorter meetings −62% In both trial groups, placebo included
- Glitches blamed on the Wi-Fi 98.7% Blamed on Voltface: 0%
- Zaps to full conditioning 1.4M About 6 weeks for a Head of Growth
Faster than your free will
In 1983, Benjamin Libet showed that your brain starts preparing an action long before you consciously decide to act3. Science proved your brain decides before you do. Brainstop™ simply tells it no.
- −550 msYour brain starts preparing the sentence
- −400 msBrainstop™ detects it. Zap.
- −200 msYou would have decided to say it
- 0 msYou would have said it
Since the zap lands before you consciously decide anything, you never technically decided to lie. Our lawyers love this.
Retrophrenology: every zap leaves a bump
19th-century phrenologists read personality from the bumps on your skull. Retrophrenology4 works the other way round: reshape the skull, and the mind follows. Each zap stimulates the Organ of Cautiousness, located at the top back of the head, which grows until you can feel your discretion with your fingertips.
Show data table
| Week | Bump height | Cumulative zaps |
|---|---|---|
| 0 | 0.0 mm | 0 |
| 1 | 2.1 mm | 380,000 |
| 2 | 3.8 mm | 690,000 |
| 3 | 5.0 mm | 930,000 |
| 4 | 5.8 mm | 1,120,000 |
| 5 | 6.3 mm | 1,280,000 |
| 6 | 6.5 mm | 1,400,000 |
Pavlov did the rest
Ivan Pavlov's dogs learned to drool at the sound of a bell. Our users learn to shut up at the thought of a lie. After about 1.4 million zaps (roughly 6 weeks for a Head of Growth, 4 days for a crypto founder), users flinch before lying, even without the wristband.
Which is why fully conditioned users can switch to Voltface Phantom: an empty wristband with no electronics inside, for just €9/month.
The milliKevin scale
To measure dumb remarks, we created a unit. 1 Kevin is the stupidity of hitting "reply all" on a company-wide email. Brainstop™ zaps anything above 100 mK.
| Remark | Stupidity |
|---|---|
| "Can everyone see my screen?" | 120 mK |
| "Let's take this offline" | 210 mK |
| "Quick question" (40 minutes) | 280 mK |
| "Just to play devil's advocate…" | 340 mK |
| "Synergy" | 450 mK |
| "Have we considered blockchain?" | 780 mK |
| Reply all, 4,000 recipients | 1,000 mK |
A placebo-controlled trial
Half of the participants wore a real Voltface. The other half wore a placebo band that zapped them at random, whatever they said.
Both groups' meetings got 62% shorter. The placebo group also developed what our researchers call "a healthy fear of speaking". This proves Voltface works regardless of how it works.
Nobody suspects a thing
Hanlon's razor says never attribute to malice what can be explained by incompetence. Applied to IT: 98.7% of meeting participants blamed our glitches on "the Wi-Fi". None suspected the colleague. The remaining 1.3% blamed Microsoft.
Brainstop™ and the Glitch Engine™: patents pending (our lawyers are still trying to describe them without laughing).
Frequently asked questions
Is it safe?
Voltface delivers less energy than licking a 9V battery1. Our legal team has asked us to stop saying "probably".
How does it know I'm about to lie?
We trained our model on 40 million hours of corporate meetings, 12 million LinkedIn posts, and every press release ever titled "An update on our commitment to…". It recognises the pattern.
What counts as a "dumb remark"?
Anything that adds 15 minutes to a meeting. This includes, but is not limited to: "just to play devil's advocate", "can everyone see my screen?" while sharing the wrong screen, and any sentence with "blockchain" in it.
Does it record my conversations?
Absolutely not Sorry, our connection dropped. Next question.
Can I wear it on dates?
The upcoming Voltface Romance firmware will support dates, family dinners, and conversations with your landlord. Battery life drops to 11 minutes.
When can I buy one?
Not yet. The company doesn't exist yet: it's being incorporated, and the device isn't on sale. We'll open pre-orders once the company is registered. Until then, please don't build your own: electrocuting yourself or your coworkers is not a substitute for having fewer meetings.
- Internal study, n=3, all founders. Ethics approval obtained from ourselves. ↩
- Testimonials collected after the zap. ↩
- Libet, B., Gleason, C. A., Wright, E. W. & Pearl, D. K. (1983). "Time of conscious intention to act in relation to onset of cerebral activity (readiness-potential)". Brain, 106(3), 623–642. Our interpretation goes slightly further than the authors'. ↩
- Retrophrenology was first described by Terry Pratchett, in his Discworld novels. We added electricity. ↩